I Am An Artist, Not Prey

Ever since Lethbridge artist/entertainer Andy Davies was charged with with one count of sexual assault and one count of sexual interference of a person under 16, I've been deep in thought about the predatory people of the world. Specifically, predatory people who make their home in the art/entertainment industries.

The Andy Davies situation is truly horrific and I pray for those who have been hurt by him that they might eventually find healing from their trauma.

The City and arts groups within the city are reacting appropriately by distancing themselves from him and his work. The general public is also justifiably reacting at their own pace and are likely also thinking about their own experiences with him and other predators they have encountered in their lives.

The Andy Davies situation actually made me reflect deeply on my own experiences with an artist/entertainer who exhibited predatory behaviors towards me, experiences that happened when I was first transitioning from theatre to film/voiceover work and even before that.

This artist/entertainer knew me personally and not only behaved inappropriately on sets where I was, but they also behaved inappropriately towards me online before and after we worked together.

I've kept this in for a while because when I tried to speak up about it, it got back to them, I was yelled at for "spreading rumors" and either ignored, not believed, or just told to be okay with it, so I just stayed quiet about it and tried to move on.

More questionable things happened in years since the first incidents, however, that made me wonder why I was staying silent. And then famous artist Andy Davies was outed as a predator and I began to wonder how many predatory artists/entertainers are allowed to avoid accountability because people don't speak?

Andy Davies avoided accountability for a long time even though people likely spoke up about him being bad news. I'm glad he's being held accountable now, but those who spoke out against him should have been listened to and protected instead of watching the predator be protected. That's why survivors of predatory situations don't speak as much as they should. Predators are protected more than their victims are and that is absolutely disgusting. It should not be that way.

I am not going to share the name of the person who preyed on me publicly, only my experiences, as I cannot afford to get into legal entanglements and there is no doubt in my mind that the person would freak out to that degree if they were named. As would their supporters.

I'd like to be clear in that nothing ever physical/sexual happened between me and this artist/entertainer, but someone does not have to be physical or sexual in order to be a predator.

People can be predatory with words and behaviors and even when they ignore boundaries in favor of their own want. And there were multiple instances where this artist/entertainer was inappropriate/predatory towards me, including a time when their focus was supposed to be on their missionary service and not on harassing people/encouraging illegal activities over social media.

Let me recount my experiences for you:

2015 - This artist/entertainer tried to prey on a female friend of mine online, got mad at me when I told them off, and then tried to control how I interacted in a virtual group, getting mad when I told them to stop.

2015 - This artist/entertainer, in the midst of their mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, reached out to me via Facebook and tried to order me to get involved in a situation involving their significant other, this other's family, and another party, a situation where a restraining order was in play that prohibited the parties from contacting each other directly. This artist outright demanded that I violate the restraining order, protect their significant other from harassment, and not say that they were the one who had asked for me to get involved, and had also asked if anyone had been talking about them. I did attempt to say no and encouraged them to also stay out of it and thought they understood, as they gave me a big performative speech to the effect, but I still felt uneasy, so I turned the issue over to my bishop and expressed my discomfort. I had hoped the issue was over, but I didn't know for sure.

2018 - This artist/entertainer preyed on my personal Facebook page, found out what I did for work, and then asked me about it via Messenger. I was uncomfortable with it and said so, but they got upset by that, claiming they were just looking for help in their own field of work, but they would not give me details as to what their field of work was. And then when I continued to say I was uncomfy, they said they were going to offer me work, but not if I was "acting out."

2021 - After many years being involved in theatre, I had been looking to do more with voice-over and film work. I actually secured a part as an extra on a short film a few hours away from home. This company was very much into making short films and they seemed reputable enough. I went to the shoot, only to find out that this artist/entertainer was also there. Anyway, the group of us background extras that were there that day worked very hard and it was enjoyable work. We had a very professional director and crew guiding us through everything we needed to get done. The crew was likewise being friendly to all of us and cracking jokes with us to help us all feel more comfortable on set. The main camera guy was talking and cracking jokes like Jack Black and it was entertaining, so I told him so. The camera guy accepted the compliment and was pleased by it. It was a simple compliment and I complimented everyone who was there that day.

As the extras were waiting around for a scene to be set up, however, I learned that my friendliness had been misinterpreted. I was standing around with the other extras when the predatory artist/entertainer in question came up to me and quite loudly told me that I shouldn't flirt and watch what I say to the camera guy because the camera guy and the director were in a relationship. One of the other extras called his name to get him to be quiet because I'm sure she thought his comments were inappropriate and I simply said nothing, as I wanted to stay professional, but I was very hurt inside. I was also worried the director had seen me compliment her boyfriend and so I approached her quietly later and quietly asked her if she thought I had been flirting, as I wasn't; I was only complimenting the camera man's humor. She didn't think I was, said as much, and I am sure she was confused by what I said, but I didn't want to throw anyone under the bus and create more stress during shooting. After the day's shoot was over, however, I sat down with the artist/entertainer in question and simply told them that I had been accused of flirting before when my intent was merely to be friendly and that such accusations are hurtful.

At that point, I had to go and I'm not sure how much the artist/entertainer in question actually got out of the conversation, but I still feel very unsettled about it to this day. I say this because during the downtimes in the shoot, the artist/entertainer continually behaved inappropriately despite their 'experience.' They continually made a point of talking about how they had taken Set Etiquette and how they were preparing paperwork to join ACTRA because they had acted for many, many years. They also talked about how they were represented by a reputable agency. They also bashed another reputable agency and other actors while everyone was filling out their paperwork. Everyone laughed, but I thought it was inappropriate to bash other actors and agencies.

After the day was over, I was so troubled by what had happened, but I didn't know what to do about it. I was newer to film, independently represented, and so I simply wrote a letter to the artist/entertainer's agency about what had taken place and how I wanted the artist/entertainer to be educated on better behavior. I didn't think they deserved to be fired, but I wanted them to become educated about how their behavior was inappropriate.

I also began searching for virtual Set Etiquette classes so I could be better prepared in case I faced a similar scenario in the future.

I did try to talk to friends I thought I could trust about what happened, but one of the friends I confided in was a relative of the artist/entertainer and I didn't know that until after I had confided in them. They ended up telling the artist/entertainer that I was talking about the experience and the artist/entertainer yelled at me to "stop spreading rumors." That told me that they had never listened to a word I said after our negative experience and refused to take accountability for their behavior.

The artist/entertainer also continued to follow my posts online and saw my online inquiries about virtual Set Etiquette courses and made a point of telling me that they didn't see any coming up any time soon. I don't know why they felt the need to do that, continually dig for information on what I was up to, and continually act like my friend when they knew they had made me so uncomfortable It felt predatory to me and I did try to put up boundaries, but they always said I was acting like I wanted to bite their head off when they were just trying to "help me." They also seemed to message me or comment every time I'd comment on an entertainment-related post and it was unsettling. I don't think they were educated at all by their agency on proper behavior or, if they were, they didn't listen. Part of me wondered if this was revenge for the behavior I refused to tolerate when they were on their mission.

2023 - The artist/entertainer offered me an audition because they had connections to a production, sweet-talked me into submitting materials that had my personal information attached, and then claimed just hours later that 'the producer decided to go with someone else.' They also kept asking "who I was with" like they had all rights to my personal information. It felt extremely predatory and I didn't know how to deal with it without sounding rude or psychotic.

I responded by saying that I had heard good things about the agency I had first heard about at the short film shoot and was debating joining them, but the artist/entertainer was quick to say that that agency was, "good for getting people in for BG work," but they didn't think that agency was the right fit for people who wanted to do more than that because it had a lot of clients, sent them all the same calls, and there was no sense of individuality within the agency and that if I wanted to excel in the craft of acting, I was not going to get that from that particular agency." and then the artist proceeded to brag about themselves and their accomplishments.

This artist/entertainer also spent time in virtual acting spaces where I have been present and they act as if they are above everyone else, bash other artists as being "difficult to work with," repeatedly stated that a specific agency isn't a good one to work with, and they brag about their distant relation to famous celebrities for clout, even going so far to claim their relation on their IMDB page.

I have no idea if I am the only person that this artist/entertainer has been predatory towards, but I feel like that I need to talk about my feelings and be open with my experiences given that so many predatory artists have been allowed to live peacefully under the radar.

The artist hasn't done anything to me since 2023, thankfully, but maybe the behaviors haven't stopped and they're just better at hiding it. I can't assume they have changed, as I have occasionally seen 'brag posts' online and I truly feel they haven't changed as a person; they are just better at hiding their behavior and better at convincing people that they are a good person.

I, however, do not believe they have learned from people who have likely tried to teach them better behavior.

I'm grateful that I've managed to learn from the experience, though, and become smarter at how to address situations that make me uncomfortable. And yes, I have allowed myself to be uncomfortable by it and acknowledge that it is not okay. I am also allowing myself to say and commit that I don't have to be comfortable around this artist no matter how successful or well-liked they may become. I'm no longer cripplingly anxious over this. I can talk about this calmly, and I do have receipts of things in case anyone ever wants to see my side in detail. I don't know if anyone actually will take me seriously, but I can at least speak and hope that people learn to protect themselves even if nothing is done about the artist/entertainer.

I'm also choosing to share this so that others with experiences similar to mine become unafraid to speak about situations and people that made them uncomfortable because all those in creative industries deserve to feel safe.

Why was I targeted? I don't know. Maybe it's because I am a creative with ADHD, and Non-Verbal Learning Disorder (which is on the autism spectrum, I am very trusting and kind, and I am a survivor of domestic abuse and the artist in question knows who I am/knows my life and thought they could take advantage of that without the expectation that I have a right to safety and boundaries. I will truly never know why I was targeted, but the artist/entertainer did know me and my family from a town both of our families lived in years ago and they likely knew all the rumors connected to my biological father, a man who was an abusive alcoholic. My biological father was the subject of much gossip in town, as was the alcohol-fueled abuse he inflicted on his family. Maybe the artist/entertainer thought they could exploit me and the kind and caring behavior I tried so desperately tried to share despite being in that horrible situation. I don't know. Maybe I will never know the why.

What I do know, though, is that I feel like that me standing up for myself and setting boundaries has come with the consequences of being quietly blacklisted from work opportunities and being talked about behind my back by this artist. I cannot prove anything, but I do feel like I have been painted as problematic and unstable simply for trying to say I was uncomfortable with bad behavior. My opportunities to be in productions in the area where the artist/entertainer is from have been limited ever since I reported the incident as I was able. And I cannot prove anything, but I know that that artist/entertainer likes to talk crap about others and make them seem problematic to work with and they are likely believed.

I cannot prove anything concretely, but I do feel like there has been a bit of an invisible wall built between me and opportunities in that particular geographical area because I tried to set boundaries with this artist/entertainer and it's not fair. I've worked hard to get where I am as an artist/entertainer and I now have an agent of my own in hopes of growing ever further, but things are very quiet opportunity-wise. I even tried to audition for productions made by the same company where the first 'film incident' began and they have ignored me. It seems like many believe a version of the story and of me that isn't true, but is being accepted as truth simply because this entertainer/artist says it is so.

I tried to speak out about my experience more than once to people and I was scolded, ignored, and encouraged to simply pretend like the predator did not exist, but what exactly does that solve?

It leaves others unprotected. It sends a message that I accept what happened to me and I do not accept it even though this artist/entertainer is well-known, has connections, and their voice seems to be taken as gospel truth even though they say a lot of untrue, hurtful things. I may not be able to do anything about them, but I can share my experiences with them in hopes that others in the industry will do what they can in order to protect themselves from this person.

I sincerely apologize for taking so long to share my experiences, but coming to terms with them and learning from them took time.

All I can do now is share my side of things and hope that people listen to me.

I actually got to the point where I sat down and wrote all of my experiences with this person in a blog, a blog that describes the experiences in detail, my responses, and my thoughts about why all of this happened.

I kept the blog to myself for a while because I still wasn't sure I wanted to be open about it, as those who are preyed upon in the art/entertainment industries are often disbelieved, mocked, and scorned for being open about their experiences and the predators behind them. Then, after much internal debate, I finally decided to be open about my experiences, as I would like other people to avoid the same trouble I faced.

If people are not open about their experiences with predators, how can anyone stay safe?

I am not going to share names publicly, only experiences, as I cannot afford to get into legal entanglements and no doubt the person would freak out to that degree if they were named. As would their supporters.

Even if names are not mentioned openly, however, artists and entertainers need to be more open with each other about experiences they have with predatory people in order to help the art/entertainment industries become a place where safety is paramount and more important than profits or popularity.