I Am An Artist, Not Prey

Area artist Andy Davies was recently charged by police with one count of sexual assault and one count of sexual interference of a person under 16. It's horrific and I pray for those who have been hurt by them that they might eventually find healing from their trauma.

I've been thinking a lot about the situation surrounding Andy Davies lately and it made me reflect on my own experiences with an artist who exhibited predatory behaviors towards me.

I've kept this in for a while because when I tried to speak up about it, it got back to them, I was yelled at for "spreading rumors" and either ignored, not believed or just told to be okay with it, so I just stayed quiet about it and tried to move on.

More questionable things happened in years since, however, that made me wonder why I was staying silent. And then famous artist Andy Davies was outed as a predator and I began to wonder how many predatory artists are allowed to avoid accountability because people don't speak? Survivors of predatory situations don't speak as much as they should and that needs to stop.

I am not going to share names publicly, only experiences, as I cannot afford to get into legal entanglements.

Anyway...

Nothing ever physical/sexual happened between me and this artist, but someone does not have to be physical or sexual in order to be a predator. People can be predatory with words and behaviors. And there were multiple instances where this artist was inappropriate/predatory towards me, including during a time when their focus was supposed to be on their missionary service and not on harassing people/encouraging illegal activities over social media.

Let me recount them.

2015 - This artist preyed on a female friend of mine and then tried to control how I interacted in a virtual group, getting mad when I told them to stop.

2015 - This artist, in the midst of their mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, reached out to me via Facebook and tried to order me to get involved in a situation involving their significant other, this other's family, and another party, a situation where a restraining order was in play that prohibited the parties from contacting each other directly. This artist outright demanded that I violate the restraining order, protect their significant other from harassment, and not say that they were the one who had asked for me to get involved, and had also asked if anyone had been talking about them. I did attempt to say no and encouraged them to also stay out of it and thought they understood, as they gave me a big performative speech to the effect, but I still felt uneasy, so I turned the issue over to my bishop and expressed my discomfort. I had hoped the issue was over, but I didn't know for sure.

2018 - This artist preyed on my personal Facebook page, found out what I did for work, and then asked me about it via Messenger. I was uncomfortable with it and said so, but they got upset by that, claiming they were just looking for help in their own field of work, but they would not give me details as to what their field of work was. And then when I continued to say I was uncomfy, they said they were going to offer me work, but not if I was 'acting out.'

2021 - After many years being involved in theatre, I had been looking to do more with voice-over and film work in light of health challenges and COVID. I had gotten a part as an extra on a short film a few hours away from home and I went, only to find out that this artist was also there. Anyway, The group of us background extras that were there that day worked very hard and it was enjoyable work. We had a very professional director and crew guiding us through everything we needed to get done. The crew was likewise being friendly to all of us and cracking jokes with us to help us all feel more comfortable on set. The main camera guy was talking and cracking jokes like Jack Black and it was entertaining, so I told him so. The camera guy accepted the compliment and was pleased by it. It was a simple compliment and I complimented everyone who was there that day.

As the extras were waiting around for a scene to be set up, however, I learned that my friendliness had been misinterpreted for more. I was standing around with the other extras when the artist in question came up to me and quite loudly told me that I shouldn't flirt and watch what I say to the camera guy because the camera guy and the director were in a relationship. One of the other extras called his name to get him to be quiet because I'm sure she thought his comments were inappropriate and I simply said nothing, as I wanted to stay professional, but I was very hurt inside. I was also worried the director had seen me compliment her boyfriend and so I approached her quietly later and quietly asked her if she thought I had been flirting, as I wasn't; I was only complimenting the camera man's humor. She didn't think I was, said as much, and I am sure she was confused by what I said, but I didn't want to throw anyone under the bus and create more stress during shooting. After the day's shoot was over, however, I sat down with the artist in question and simply told them that I had been accused of flirting before when my intent was merely to be friendly and that such accusations are hurtful.

At that point, I had to go and I'm not sure how much the artist in question actually got out of the conversation, but I still feel very unsettled about it to this day. I say this because during the downtimes in the shoot, the artist continually made a point of talking about how they had taken Set Etiquette and how they were preparing paperwork to join ACTRA because they had acted for many, many years. They also talked about how they were represented by a reputable agency, but they didn't act like it in that they bashed another reputable agency and other actors while everyone was filling out their paperwork.

I was so troubled by this and I was newer to film, independently represented, and so I simply wrote a letter to the artist's agency about what had taken place and how I wanted the artist to be educated on better behavior.

I also began searching for virtual Set Etiquette classes so I could be better prepared in case I faced a similar scenario in future. I also tried to talk to friends about what happened, but one of the friends I confided in was a relative of the artist and they told him and the artist yelled at me to "stop spreading rumors." The artist also saw my online inquiries about virtual Set Etiquette courses and made a point of telling me that they didn't see any coming up any time soon. I don't know why they felt the need to do that, continually dig for information on what I was up to, and continually act like my friend when they knew they had made me so uncomfortable It felt predatory to me and I did try to put up boundaries, but they always said I was acting like I wanted to bite their head off when they were just trying to "help me." They also seemed to message me every time I'd comment on an entertainment-related post and it was unsettling. I don't think they were educated at all by their agency on proper behavior or, if they were, they didn't listen. Part of me wondered if this was revenge for the behavior I refused to tolerate when they were on their mission.

2023 - The artist offered me an audition because they had connections to a production, sweet-talked me into submitting materials that had my personal information attached, and then claimed just hours later that 'the producer decided to go with someone else.' They also kept asking 'who I was with,' It felt extremely predatory and I didn't know how to deal with it without sounding rude or psychotic. I had heard good things about the agency I had first heard about at the short film shoot and brought that agency up, but the artist was quick to say that that agency was, "good for getting people in for BG work, but they didn't think that agency was the right fit for people who wanted to do more than that because it had a lot of clients, sent them all the same calls, and there was no sense of individuality within the agency and that if I wanted to excel in the craft of acting, I was not going to get that from that particular agency." and then the artist proceeded to brag about themselves.

This artist also spent time in virtual acting spaces where I have been present and they act as if they are above everyone else, bash other artists as being 'difficult to work with,' has that a specific agency isn't a good one to work with, and they brag about their distant relation to famous celebrities for clout. I have no idea if I am the only woman that this artist has been predatory towards, but I feel like that I need to talk about my feelings and be open with my experiences given that so many predatory artists have been allowed to live peacefully under the radar.

The artist hasn't done anything since, thankfully, but I do have evidence and memories of what was said and done and I am allowed to be uncomfortable by it. I am also allowed to say that I don't have to be comfortable around this artist no matter how successful or well-liked they may become. I'm no longer cripplingly anxious over this. I can talk about this calmly, and I do have receipts of things in case anyone ever wants to see my side in detail.

I'm choosing to share this so that others with experiences similar to mine become unafraid to speak about situations and people that made them uncomfortable because all those in creative industries deserve to feel safe.

Why was I targeted? I don't know. Maybe it's because I am a creative with ADHD, and Non-Verbal Learning Disorder (which is on the autism spectrum, I am very trusting and kind, and I am a survivor of domestic abuse and the artist in question knows who I am/knows my life and thought they could take advantage of that without the expectation that I have a right to safety and boundaries. I will truly never know why I was targeted. What I do know, though, is that I feel like that me standing up for myself and setting boundaries has come with the consequences of being quietly blacklisted from work opportunities and being talked about behind my back by this artist. I cannot prove anything, but I do feel like I have been painted as problematic and unstable simply for trying to say I was uncomfortable with bad behavior. Again, I cannot prove anything, but I do feel like there has been a bit of an invisible wall built between me and opportunities because I tried to set boundaries with this artist and it's not fair. But what can I do? This artist is well-known and has connections. Their voice matters in the industry and people listen to them.

All I can do is share my side of things, apologize for taking so long to feel comfortable enough doing it, and hope that people listen to me too.